Tuesday 24 January 2012

The Family Of Misery

The Club

The Family of Misery or The FOM as me and my compadres like to call it is a "club" we started many moons ago as a means to embody our manically depressive alcohol addled bodies and minds.There is no real criteria for entry, except that you must have an inherantly miserable disposition. I abandoned my ties with The FOM sometime ago, making outlandish claims that positive thinking was the way forward and that it was a childish creation born from teenage angst and post-parental divorces induced desolation. How wrong I was to flee that unit. Thankfully The FOM never fully disbanded and has a handful of hardcore members who wave that flag of misery on a day to day, breath by breath basis. I am once again a fully fledged member; thanks to what is seemingly becoming a prolonged period of unemployment.

Some of the loyalest members of  The FOM have been very kindly trying to assist me in pulling myself together. The irony of a bunch of fellow misery guts attempting to inject joy into my eyeballs is not lost on me. At least it is better than them trying to inject me with skag. Their tactics include;


  • Daily text messages of love and support, and crucially piss-taking.
  • Endless cups of huge coffee (resulting in grand headaches, excess unspent energy followed by periods of lethargy).
  • Phone calls informing me "everything will be okay", in spite of repeated rejections (I seriously believe being dumped and suffering heartache is now easier than being unemployed).
  • Emails containing disturbing images of cats saying "hang in there" (again - more piss-taking, I am and always will be a dog person). There were some other more crude emails from GeekFighter, The Mole, Troll et al but I won't go into these.
  • Songs being sung to me which frequently include the word penis and my first name.
So Why The Sudden Onset of Misery?

There are various long winded versions of why I am currently so miserable, and in a few weeks none of them will really matter. So I may as well not bother to divulge. On the upside at least I am still not watching Jeremy Kyle, nor Celebrity Big Brother and I still do not quite understand who or what the Kardashians (sp?)  are. 


Waiting Game

I am currently in the process of waiting to hear back from numerous applications (again *sigh*). I have now started to apply for jobs which I am over-qualified to do, but not so over-qualified that I should not get an interview. The other jobs I interviewed for were in highly competitive NGOs/Charities and so I was quite lucky to get down to the last few in each interview stage. So I have decided that I am more likely to get a job if it is not for such a prestigious organisation (there goes my lifelong ambition/dreams).

HOWEVER...I have come up with a new business concept involving adult products, geeks and comic books. Having run this past The FOM, who largely consist of comic book reading geeks they are convinced that it is potentially a groundbreaking idea. I now need to find a way to get funding. Which given the nature of the products may prove ever so slightly testing.


In other news...
  • I am still not a facebook.
  • I have removed myself off the dating site (the emails and messages were getting so creepy I was actually scared).
  • The dog had a haircut.
  • I have developed some sort of distorted form of empathy for Ben Mitchell from Eastenders.

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